Top 10 Caregiver Resolutions for 2014

This is a guest post written by David Wallace, CEO of Senior Helpers of San Diego

One in three people will be making a New Year’s resolution during that sixty-second descent of the crystal ball in Times Square. In fact, studies show *that those who make resolutions are 10 times more likely to successfully change their behavior.

This year, Senior Helpers, one of the largest in-home care agencies in the nation, is asking all caregivers to make a New Year’s Resolution list and check it twice.

Once that countdown is over, 10,000 people will officially hit senior status each day of the New Year. That means many adult children will suddenly find themselves taking on a new role as caregiver for their aging parent/s. At Senior Helpers, we’re encouraging all caregivers, families and professionals to take a moment of reflection for the New Year and write down their Top 10 Caregiving Resolutions. Something as simple as writing down their goals for the New Year really can help them cope emotionally through this challenging stage in their lives.

Research reveals* that the readiness to change is the single most predictor when it comes to whether your New Year’s resolutions will be successful. Family caregiving has become so mainstream that many Baby Boomers are working an average of more than 20 hours/week OUTSIDE of their normal 40 hour work week. The individual feeling most of this stress is often the middle-aged, eldest daughter, who is also working. If you’re feeling the stresses of caregiving, here are some resolutions Senior Helpers recommends.

Senior Helpers’ Top 10 Caregiving Resolutions: 

1. I am doing my best – no one is perfect – and I won’t allow myself to drown in guilt.
2. Receiving advice from others only makes me stronger, not weaker. It’s okay to ask friends and family, or agencies like Senior Helpers, for guidance.
3. I promise to take care of myself and my health, and to not cancel doctor appointments.
4. I promise to make time for myself, alone. And I won’t hesitate to ask for help to achieve that or feel guilty about it.
5. I will say “no” to requests when I feel my schedule is too full for one more thing.
6. I will always keep in mind that the senior I care for did not choose their illness or disability.
7. I will reach out for help if I feel caregiver burnout or signs of depression.
8. I will make time for my own family members – they’re important too.
9. I will remind myself that the healthier and happier I am as an individual, the better caregiver I will be.
10. If I’m having a tough day, I will slow down, back up and try again.

We believe one of the most important resolutions listed above is for caregivers to not be afraid to reach out for help. Six months into the New Year, only **46% of people are still making good on their promises. Whether you chose an agency like Senior Helpers or an adult day program like the Glenner Centers, we're all here to help give caregivers a break, even if it’s just for a few hours at a time.

David Wallace serves as Vice Chair of the Glenner Memory Care Centers board. He has been an active volunteer with our organization for more than five years, and has had a lifelong journey himself as a caregiver - all four of his grandparents had one form or another of dementia.

For more information on Senior Helpers and to find out more about local in-home care services, visit http://www.seniorhelpers.com/sandiego or call 619-450-4686.

Sources: *American Psychological Association **Yahoo News!, Health Magazine, National Alliance for Caregiving

Adult Financial Planning - More Tips for Caregivers

This is part of a monthly series of financial advice on eldercare issues by Deborah Higgins, president of Higgins Capital Management in La Jolla.
By Deborah M. Higgins/President/Higgins Capital

As we end 2013, I thought I’d touch on insurance plan cancellation notices that have been flooding many mailboxes. The notices are due to current insurance plans that don’t meet the minimum requirements of the Affordable Care Act (ACA) that goes into effect on Jan. 1^st. The President has announced that insurers could elect to allow consumers to keep noncompliant policies through 2014.

I got that call from our insurer and was able to renew through 2014 at the same pricing. I have included a write-up about grandfathered plans in case you are dealing with insurance needs of the adult under your care, as well as your own policy situation.

I wish you all a happy holiday and a 2014 that brings joy.

Others in the series:
Tips for Caregivers
U.S. Government Shutdown Explained
Coordinating Long-Term Care with Government Benefits
Protecting Property
Incapacity Documents
Caring for an Aging Parent Checklist

7 Holiday Stress Tips for Caregivers

The week we couldn't wait for months ago is now finally here, and now that it is we're maybe feeling overwhelmed (already!) and maybe sad as the holidays arrive, starting with Hannukah on Wednesday and Thanksgiving the following day.

The other week the Alzheimer's Association held a caregiver conference, and coping with holiday stress was among the main topics. We pulled together some of those tips to present here.

1. First and foremost, take care of yourself -- because if you don't, then you can't take care of others as you'd wish. That means trying to get enough sleep (instead of staying up in the wee hours doing holiday-related baking, wrapping, writing, etc.) Stick to a healthful diet (at least as much as you can with all those sweets being set out before you) and do not feel guilty if you need to decline an invitation because your loved one isn't up to a party.

2. Embed "rest periods" into each day. These are the sacred times when you do not let others interfere and so you both can relax. Be flexible in when these times occur.

3. Include the person with dementia in your holiday activities - let them help wrap or bag gifts, open cards together, let them help you bake cookies or turn up the holiday music and sing to your hearts' content.

4. Try to stick to a routine. Routines are important to someone with dementia, and the holidays are a great disrupter. Try to minimize that by scheduling visits when you would normally be most active and not when you typically are not -- like afternoons when a loved one is prone to sundowners.

5. Go easy on the decor. Just like small children and pets, be sure to keep decorations, especially those that mimic food, out of arm's reach. Be especially careful with candles and items on the floor. Know too that blinking lights can cause disorientation. And keep the dinner table as simple as possible.

6. Wear nametags. It might seem silly or even insulting to wear nametags at a traditional family gathering, but if you make a game of it - like everyone personalizing their tags and then discussing the personalization at the dinner table - then it's fun and helps your loved one remember who is seated with them.

7. Make sure everyone understands it's ok to tell a white lie if no one is hurt by it. Guests and long-distance relatives may start to argue with your loved one over a detail from the past or even present, like the number of rolls someone just consumed at the dinner table. Talk to them ahead of time about letting the little things go and the power of redirection to steer a conversation or behavior in a better direction.

'52 Weeks of Peace' Card Book Now on Sale

The San Diego-based Voice of Peace Network has been a huge supporter of The Glenner Memory Care Centers - promoting our cause and our volunteers in videos they produce. They also are responsible for the video on our Web site's homepage that was made for our 30th anniversary. We enjoy supporting those who support us, which is why we wanted to pass along the following announcement on a new partnership that could yeild some great gifts for your friends and family during the holiday season.

VOPN is very excited to announce an amazing partnership between VOPN, Patricia Saxton / Saxton Studio and Shenanigan Books to offer you an amazing HOLIDAY GIFT just in time for the holidays!

Designed by Patricia Saxton / Saxton Studio, "52 Weeks of Peace / Peace Starts Here is a mesmerizing card book that offers us a different perspective on the idea of 'peace.'

The best part is that 50 percent of the purchase price will be donated to the Voice of Peace Network! Purchase any other wonderful books from Shenanigan Books and 20 percent of each book will be donated too! Thank you to the graciousness of Patricia and Shenanigan Books for supporting peace and our nonprofit organization!

So purchase this amazing book now and help support VOPN & Peace by clicking on the link below!


VISIT: http://www.shenaniganbooks.com/content/52-weeks-peace

Use coupon code: VOPN2013 Support PEACE and get free shipping too!

Adult Financial Planning-Tips for Caregivers

By Deborah M. Higgins/President/Higgins Capital

This is part of a monthly series on adult care financial planning for family caregivers.

Adult care is a full-time job and most of us already have a full-time job. You are now forced to incorporate the financial planning of a loved one into your own plan for a secure financial future.

Sometimes it’s the simple things that get us through the challenges we face. There are some simple tips for caregivers that may have slipped your mind, such as posting important telephone numbers, ways to safeguard the home, etc. Take a look at this Tips list to see if you can simplify your life as a caregiver:

• Post important telephone numbers in case of emergency (e.g., physician, emergency services).
• Safeguard your parent's home.
• Complete first-aid and CPR courses.
• Talk to your parent about the future; understand his or her wishes.
• Make sure your parent has a will, durable power of attorney, health-care proxy, and living will.
• Join a support group or cultivate friendships where you can talk openly about your caregiving responsibilities and challenges.
• Seek assistance from friends and relatives, community services (home health care, meal delivery, adult day care, etc.), and other sources.
• Talk to your employer. Some employers will help by offering flexible schedules or other assistance.
• Be aware that the Family and Medical Leave Act requires employers of 50 or more employees to grant eligible employees unpaid leave to care for a member of their immediate family who has a serious health condition.

IMPORTANT DISCLOSURES

Broadridge Investor Communication Solutions, Inc. does not provide investment, tax or legal advice. The information presented here is not specific to any individual's personal circumstances. To the extent that this material concerns tax matters, it is not intended or written to be used, and cannot be used, by a taxpayer for the purpose of avoiding penalties that may be imposed by law. Each taxpayer should seek independent advice from a tax professional based on his or her individual circumstances.

 

These materials are provided for general information and educational purposes based upon publicly available information from sources believed to be reliable—we cannot assure the accuracy or completeness of these materials. The information in these materials may change at any time and without notice.

Sing...Sing a Song -- It's Great for the Brain

Gus Mezza and A.J. sing during music therapy at Glenner South Bay

And don't worry that it's not good enough for anyone else to hear, but it is still good for your brain.

Turns out, according to a new study, that singing show tunes in particular has been shown to benefit those experiencing dementia, and particularly Alzheimer's disease. At an East Coast senior living facility, residents spent four months in singalongs and those that sang their favorite songs  showed a marked improvement in brain function compared to those who just listened.

"Even when people are in the fairly advanced stages of dementia, when it is so advanced they are in a secure ward, singing sessions were still helpful," Janet Flinn, one of the researchers at George Mason University, said in a published report. "The message is: don't give up on these people. You need to be doing things that engage them, and singing is cheap, easy and engaging."

We at Glenner know the power of music very well and especially the joy and cognitive benefits of signing old standards as a group. Some of our family caregivers are amazed at how their spouse or parent comes alive when singing along to "Paper Moon" or "Somewhere Over the Rainbow."

In the Virginia university study, the songs included tunes from Oklahoma, The Sound of Music and The Wizard of Oz -- songs that typically young and old can sing together. The two groups included in the study were residents of an assisted living with moderate dementia and those in a memory care unit with more severe symptoms.

Each participant took cognitive tests given before and after the four months of singing classes. Those who joined in the singing also did better at drawing the hands on a clock face to show a particular time. And despite the memory loss associated with dementia, the patients typically remembered the lyrics to songs from their past. Flinn said at a recent gathering in San Diego that singing sessions involve numerous sensations that activitate different parts of the brain on both the left and right sides. 

Digging Deep: A Video Showing the Power of Words and Music

Our Community Relations Director, Marshall Stanek, sent us this video that validates the power of music therapy even for those in the advanced stages of Alzheimer's. Dare you to not be moved by this one.

Teaching Your Children About Dementia

By Marcela De Vivo, Freelance Writer
Dementia affects every member of the family, whether you choose to care for your aging parent at home, or have them in hospice care. Stressful and confusing for the patient, and the caregiver, the children in the family are also very much affected by an elderly relative’s dementia. The lack of stability in the home environment, increased tension, volatile moods, and decreased awareness and attention coming from both the parents and from the relative with impaired cognitive abilities can be very upsetting to a child. In order to help your child understand the situation, you’ll have to spend time teaching him or her about the disease and how it is affecting the family and the loved one with dementia. A better understanding of the situation can go a long way in making interactions and transitions smoother and less stressful for all parties involved (especially if you plan on moving your elderly relative into your home). When discussing dementia with your children, make sure you talk about the following points:

• Dementia is a disease that affects the brain, and causes the person with the disease to think and behave differently that before. However, this person still loves you.
•  While dementia is an illness, it is not contagious. Nor is it the result of anyone’s actions.
• Talking to the relative with dementia can be confusing, because the disease is creating gaps in the connections in the brain. So sometimes sentences and words get lost—much like a derailed train that can’t get to its destination.
• The relative with dementia may forget a lot of things, for the same reason they may have difficulty communicating. They might forget basic things, like names, faces, or how to tie a shoelace. Don’t get upset if they call you by the wrong name—instead tell them who you are, or play along like you’re role-playing.
• The person with dementia will be happy to have visitors and to see people who love him/her.

Review the points a few times before you visit, or well before the elderly relative moves in with you.
Be honest when answering questions and be available for questions. While the talking points are a solid guideline, they probably will generate more questions. Be open and available to your children when they ask questions before, during and after a visit. Try to answer as simply and honestly as possible—sugarcoating the situation may lead to more stress and confusion for the child than a direct answer.

Allow them to work through their feelings. Ideally, the honest discussions about dementia should help your children understand the situation from a logical standpoint. However, emotions will still come into play, and your children will react differently to seeing a loved one with dementia. Don’t shame them or scold them for feeling uncomfortable, confused, left out, frustrated and fearful after a visit with the relative with dementia. Let them know that their feelings are normal. Be supportive as they try to find solid footing on which to interact with their changed relative.

Seek outside support. There are organizations and resources dedicated to helping young children to young adults understand and cope with dementia in the family. Encourage them to join groups, read the books or sign up for meetings that allows them to talk to peers about their fears, questions, and concerns.



Celebrate the good times. Encourage your children to remember their “happy” times with their loved one and to develop new ones. Celebrate it by taking pictures of particularly happy moments between your elderly relative and child, or going over existing photos and scrapbooks with your children to help them remember how much your relative with dementia loved them. Find ways for the children to spend time with the relative that is fun and playful for all parties involved. Don’t be afraid or hesitant to talk to your children about the realities of dementia. The more they understand, the better they will be able to handle uncomfortable or awkward situations. Constant interaction will also help them build empathy and compassion, while reminding them of care and love this relative once brought—and still brings—into their life.

Marcela De Vivo is a freelance writer from Los Angeles whose writing covers a variety of subjects from health to technology. As a mother of three young children, one of whom has cerebral palsy, she knows how important it is to be open and honest with any question they may have about health. She encourages parents to speak with their own children about common ailments such as dementia.

Adult Financial Planning: Protecting Property

Today’s post is part of a monthly series by Deborah Higgins, president of Higgins Capital Management, Inc., on adult care financial planning.

By Deborah M. Higgins/ President/ Higgins Capital

My mother is 77 years old and discussing her finances, housing, etc. is extremely difficult. I get, “I know Debbie; I am not ready to move out of my house just yet.” She is of sound mind and somewhat sound body, so making decisions on what to do as she ages only becomes more stressful and difficult for all of us.

My husband’s mother was 81 years old when she called and said she was lonely in her condo and wanted to move to assisted living. The transition for her was seamless. My mother is going to be a challenge. Last month’s blog focus was ascertaining the financial aspects of caring for your parent(s). A list of common incapacity documents was provided.

If you are at the stage where you need to protect property against incapacity, I have attached information on how incapacity is determined and how to begin the protection process. It gives insight into the questions you should be asking:
1) What is incapacity?

2) How is incapacity determined?

3) What happens to your property if you don’t plan for incapacity?

4) What can you do to protect your property?

5) How do you decide what you should do?

(Click on the link above to review the questions.)

Adult Financial Planning: Incapacity Documents

Today's post is part of a monthly series by Deborah Higgins, president of Higgins Capital Management, Inc., on adult care financial planning.

By Deborah M. Higgins/ President/ Higgins Capital

Last month you were introduced to my blog post where an extensive checklist of “where to begin” was provided. I am hoping that you had a chance to review. If you missed it, look for the June 12, 2013 blog post, Adult Financial Planning: Caring for an Aging Parent Checklist.

One key element of the checklist is the assessment of your parents’ financial situation. Are you alone in helping your Mom or Dad, or are other people involved? Does the family member you are trying to help have income from a pension, social security, employment, investment accounts, real estate or other sources? Are these assets properly allocated? Are you in a position to re-allocate to optimize income for care? Do you have an idea of their expenses, their assets and liabilities? The more you know, the more you can look for ways to minimize their monthly expenses to offset the costs of care. Are you on the accounts? Do you have the appropriate documents in place to make decisions for your parent(s)?

Common incapacity documents include:

1) Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care
2) Living Will
3) Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) Order
4) Durable Power of Attorney

(Click on the link above to review the advantages and disadvantages to the common incapacity documents listed.)

Yes, You Can Take a Vacation

The other night some friends and I attended one of those wine and canvas events that are popular right now in San Diego County. While we painted our African sunset (mine more resembles Altoona!), one friend talked about how difficult it was to coax an out-of-town cousin to come visit her for a weekend. Her cousin is the primary caregiver for her parents, both of whom have Alzheimer's Disease. And she's convinced she can't leave them to go on a vacation.

Nonesense, I told her. And in today's Huffington Post, someone else agrees with me.

Taking a break from a loved one in your charge does take planning and preparation. But respite is so vital to a caregiver's well-being that it is worth the extra effort. The key is adjusting expectations and managing the emotions that tether us to loved ones in need.

First, find someone who can take care of your loved one[s] while you're gone. This requires some homework. It could be a trusted relative or a professional service provider. Relatives can be more convenient and less costly, but they may also be less reliable. If a parent or spouse is used to staying home, consider hiring in-home care for the duration of your trip; if they still have a little adventure in them, try a residential facility that provides overnight respite. Will they provide the same level of care you do? Probably not. But your loved one will still be safe and may even enjoy the break in routine. Just be sure you chose the right person or place.

Next, stay near a phone but don't overuse it. Checking in every hour is no way to relax. It's also highly annoying to your host or traveling friends. It's okay to periodically wonder how things are going, and to worry something may go wrong. But having an emergency plan in place and ample instructions for others should hedge any difficulties taking place while you're gone.

Work up to a longer break. Start with an overnight trip, even if its from your home to a nearby hotel. And if that's successful for both parties, make it a weekend trip the next time. Eventually, you might be able to stay away for longer. But in any event, you'll have taken some time to recharge. And that should be of benefit to everyone in the family.

10 Tips for Incontinence Care

A few years ago, an eldercare speaker asked the audience to name the No. 1 reason given by family when placing someone in an assisted living unit. The answer surprised some: incontinence.
If you or someone you are caring for is struggling with incontinence, are some suggestions from expert Nicole Davis of the Family Caregiver Alliance. They come from a webinar Nicole gave several months ago.

1. Schedule toileting to get ahead of leakages. Toileting by the clock takes a lot of patience and time. Visit the toilet every 2-3 hours (never longer than 3 hours), starting with first thing in the morning upon waking up. This means taking a visit even if a loved one doesn’t want to go. Praise them when they do – whether they urinate or not.
2. Toilet after meals and bedtime. Along the same lines as scheduling by the clock, you also want to make sure you primarily visit the bathroom after breakfast, lunch, dinner and just before bedtime.
3. Check every two or three hours and encourage a loved one to keep their incontinence pad dry during that time. Praise if it’s dry but do not mention it if it’s wet.
4. Make the bathroom inviting – and safe. Have handrails available where needed and promote privacy when you can. Sometimes running water in the sink works to get things flowing. Soothing music might work too.
5. Stop drinking fluids two hours prior to bedtime. The current recommended daily fluid intake for women is 90 ounces for men and 120 ounces for women. It’s important that everyone stays properly hydrated to avoid the risk of bladder infections and constipation. Fiber is great to induce a bowel movement, but if fiber is not taken with enough water, it sits like cement in the gut. Chances are, this tip means no drinking after mealtime.
6. Avoid caffeine and caffeinated foods. Caffeine is a known bladder irritant and diuretic, and our sensitivity to the substance can change with age and diet.
7. Use hypoallergenic baby wipes for a more thorough cleaning and avoid rubbing and scrubbing, which can irritate skin. Use a moisture barrier, such as lanolin, petroleum jelly or zinc oxide, to protect skin from irritants.
8. Consider ways to pay for incontintent costs. Medicare and private insurers typically do not pay for such costs unless incontinence is in a medical diagnosis. VA does cover such costs and Medicaid may as well in some situations. If you order in bulk, choose hospital grade so that you get your money’s worth in terms of quality.
9. Be realistic. There will be good days and bad days. Improvements may also be small, particularly if someone is advancing in the stages of dementia.
10. Visit the National Association for Continence at www.nafc.org to learn more and find more resources.

Caring for an Aging Parent Checklist

Today we're welcoming Deborah M. Higgins, president of Higgins Capital Management Company. She will be writing a monthly blog post on the financial decisions now needed for older adults and particularly adult children now or planning to care for their parents and their own families.

With life expectancy rising, more and more of us are faced with elderly family members that need our help. I read recently that there are over 10 million adult children over 50 who are caring for aging parents. Many of us (if lucky) have just gotten our adult children out and on their own and are now faced with the caring of our parents or a combination of the two. Taking care of aging parents is one of life’s toughest responsibilities. Most of our parents are independent and fiercely fight to maintain that independence, even when it is no longer in their best interest. Dealing with aging parents is an adjustment for everyone involved and takes a toll emotionally, legally and financially.

I have worked as a financial advisor for close to 30 years. More and more of financial planning now includes not only retirement planning, but also the element of adult care planning. You have to look at the “big picture.” This can be daunting and leave you feeling overwhelmed.

In writing this monthly blog, I will address the financial planning aspects of caring for aging parents. The first thing you need to do is evaluate your parents’ needs and wishes. A great way to start is to talk with them and determine “what you’re dealing with.”

A checklist will give you an analysis of what you know and what you need to find out. I have included a checklist to get you started on the right path.

Teaching the Brain to Be More Kind...It Can Happen

Could you or someone you know stand to be a little more compassionate?

Now there’s a new study that suggests compassion can be developed through training. The study published in the journal Psychological Science focused on training young adults in an ancient Buddhist technique known as “compassion meditation.” People focused on visualizing someone suffering and helping them to alleviate that hurt through repeated phrases focused on ease and joy.

The study group first focused on loved ones and then themselves before moving on to strangers. The last exercise was to apply the practice to someone they considered difficult, such as a coworker or troublesome relative.

“It’s kind of like weight training,” reported Helen Weng, a psychological graduate student at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, where the study was conducted. “Using this systematic approach, we found that people can actually build up their compassion ‘muscle’ and respond to others’ suffering with care and a desire to help.”

Next, the same group was trained to become more altruistic, giving more to others instead of themselves. Participants played an Internet-based game with two anonymous players, one a “victim” and the other a “dictator.” Each of the three was given money to spend at will and watched as the dictator player shared very little money with the victim.

“We found that people trained in compassion were more likely to spend their own money altruistically to help someone who was treated unfairly than those who were trained in cognitive reappraisal,” Weng said in a UW-Madison online article.

Other exercises are explained in the article, all of which point to promising results. Weng said she'd like to expand both the experimental and control groups and provided a link to audio downloads and scripts on the Center for Investigating Health Minds Web site.

So if you or someone you know are lacking an appropriate level of compassion in general or in a specific situation, such as siblings sharing in the care of a loved one with a memory impairment, do know that it’s possible to change the way they think and respond and to become a little less selfish and a little more kind. It just takes training the brain to think differently about others around them.

Are You Being Emotionally Manipulated?

Last week the Caregiver Coalition of San Diego County presented a forum on elder abuse. Each of the speakers gave great information on how to detect abuse or neglect and what steps to take once it is suspected.

One of the most difficult forms of elder abuse is financial abuse, which in 80% of cases involve a family member, often struggling with substance abuse or a gambling addiction, who takes advantage of a senior relative and drains their savings and income, said Det. Ferrell Layton, who handles the elder abuse unit for the San Diego Police Department.

Similarly, seniors can be easy prey for scam artists, who have become quite adept at getting the elderly to “buy into” overseas lotteries or wire money to bail out a grandson in jail in Mexico or Canada (and who sounds “funny” because they broke their nose in a car crash. . .).

Dr. Diane Darby Beach, director of education for Vista Gardens Memory Care, said the most likely victims of undue influence and manipulation are those who are lonely, depressed or anxious. Conversely, overly stubborn and arrogant individuals also are more susceptible because predators know how to appeal to their ego.

Here are some of the warning signs of undue influence, especially if the victim is physically or mentally impaired:

• After only a brief relationship, someone becomes a confidant and systematically isolates a senior to keep them away from other family and friends
• Intercepting phone calls and mail
• Taking a victim on an unexpected trip to further isolate them and also to create a new situation and environment that makes them more vulnerable

Emotional manipulators often:

• Say “I’m sorry you feel that way” instead of apologizing with “I’m sorry”
• Want to be more and more involved in your life
• Promise one thing and later deny ever saying it
• Make someone feel guilty for speaking up – or not speaking up enough
• Talk behind someone’s back to get others to say what they won’t say themselves
• Have no sense of accountability and believe it’s always about what everyone else has done to them

How do you protect yourself or a loved one or friend from undue influence?

• Stay connected and make sure seniors who are vulnerable to manipulators stay out of isolation as well.
• Get more involved in someone’s life and get others involved
• Consider contacting police or adult protective services if such abuse is suspected
• If legal action is called for, make sure the hired attorney is trained in elder abuse and undue influence

And if you are a professional who wants to learn more about elder abuse and neglect, consider signing up for the upcoming Glenner Symposium on Elder Abuse & Neglect on Friday, June 7 at Sharp Spectrum Auditorium. It’s designed for professionals who currently or contemplate having senior-aged clients and patients. Learn more at www.glenner.org/symposium.

Brain Tip #3: Get Out of the House

When people ask us for healthy brain lifestyles tips, they are sometimes surprised at what makes our top 5 list, including today's tip: socialize.

It can be so easy to use a computer screen or television as a substitute for two-way conversations - the kind where you actually address a person and talk. But the truth is, you use a lot more functions in your brain to carry on a real-life conversation. You use sight to interpret body language and facial gestures; you use your ears to not only hear but pick up on subtle changes in tone; and, of course, you speak back and during this common exchange you are actually processing a lot of information. It's actually a pretty complex project.

So a tip is to join a new group or reestablish ties with an old one, such as a church group or volunteer service. Senior centers are wonderful places for retirees, and most provide transportation to make their services and activities accessible.

But such groups and centers may not be appropriate for someone with mild to moderate dementia who requires more attention and a strong understanding of their medical, emotional and physical needs.

Family caregivers and their loved ones with mild to moderate dementia are particularly susceptible to isolating themselves because of the demands and unpredictable nature of the disease. What they fail to realize is that isolation may actually exacerbate some symptoms. What they need is a place they can go where everyone understands them, their situation and the unique challenges they daily face.

That's one of the best parts of our Glenner adult day programs, whether someone attends for a few hours or a every week day. Family members are able to engage in activities throughout the day (no napping here!) that leave them with quite a boost that carries into the evenings. They are among peers, and their caregivers also enjoy some much-needed respite time to meet friends for lunch or coffee or attend a social event. It's a win-win for everyone in the family.

And socialization is one of the things we stress in both our day programs and in our new Glenner Memory Connection Institute (Glenner MCI), a 6-week series of classes focused on a brain-healthy lifestyle.
 

Brain Tip #2: Move!

One thing we do daily at each of our adult day care centers is physical fitness, modified for the memory impaired and those with limited mobility. Dancing is big and a great form of movement that everyone enjoys, at least our our Glenner Centers. We do it not just because it's fun but because it serves a vital function in the aging process and brain health -- by getting that heart rate up a bit for 20 or 30 minutes, you are also improving blood flow to the brain. And that helps a brain function better.

There's no shortage of research linking exercise to better health. Not only does a walk or a session of chair aerobics do the heart good, but it helps manage stress and mitigate depression -- two mental health issues that most family members face at some point in their life and more frequently when there's a loved one with Alzheimer's or dementia in the home.

Conversely, there's growing scientific evidence that the lack of exercise raises the risk of dementia as we age.

So for today's tip, get moving. If you can, schedule a 15-, 20- or 30-minute walk and make it a part of your daily routine. If you can't walk, then pop in a DVD and move along to the instructor in your living room or den or bedroom if you have the room. Pay close attention to keep your arm strength and upper body flexible too. It will help you self-dress and bathe longer in life.

To learn more about our physical therapy and daily exercise at Glenner Centers, contact our staff at a center nearest you. Our phone numbers are: South Bay, (619) 420-1703; Hillcrest, (619) 543-4704; and Encinitas (760) 635-1895.

Brain Tip #1: Do Something Different

This week we're launching a series on brain tips. Here's the first one: Do something different. And difficult.

I used to be a marathon runner. And like any endurance athlete, I would follow a proven training schedule that built up mileage with minimal injuries. Over time, it became easier to run 5, 10, 15 and 20 miles at a time. That's because my body became conditioned and so it didn't have to work as hard.

The brain works similarly. It's great to do crossword puzzles, but over time the brain becames better at it so you actually don't work as hard at solving those word puzzles, all things considered.

Which is why, for our first brain fitness tip, we recommend you do something complex that you've never done. Maybe it's learning to play a musical instrument. Or maybe it's writing a short story or a screenplay, even if it never stands a chance of being published or produced. Languages are always a great idea too.

It can be a little scary, and what's challenging for you may not be for someone else. This is your activity. And if you immerse yourself in the new task, you'll promote synaptic density and that helps you stay mentally sharp.

And if you are worried about early memory loss, sign up for our new Glenner Memory Connection Institute, which is a six-week holistic program that promotes brain fitness activities and lifestyle choices to help you do all you can do protect against cognitive decline during the aging process. Our next series starts May 21. Call 619-543-4700 for more information.

Go Ahead and Have a Good Cry

Reprinted with permission by Dr. Mario Garrett

There is a hint of disgrace associated with crying, especially among older men. The stigma is not surprising since most scientific studies attempt to associate crying with depression. In fact, among older adults, depression is often not related to feeling sad. What emerges is that we know very little about crying. Not only is there no clear-cut association that crying is a sign of depression, there are also very few studies reporting the opposite—that crying has healing benefits, when crying is not a response to pain or anger.

A popular view is that crying can have a positive psychological as well as a physical benefit, a view shared in popular literature. In a review of 140 years of popular fiction, crying is promoted not only as beneficial, but most warned readers that keeping back tears would harm them. Even Hollywood knows this and makes money selling us tearjerkers.

Lauren Bylsma now with the University of Pittsburgh, and her colleagues reported that when 4,000 men and women in more than 30 countries were asked about crying, most people—in retrospect—reported improved mood, reduced tension and feelings of relief after crying. But this report of benefits from crying is not repeated in a laboratory setting. When adults are made to cry in response to a sad film, report feeling worse—increased sadness and distress—than those who did not cry. Of course it could be a matter of timing. Using another example, people are more likely to report being relaxed an hour after jogging than immediately after. And the same might be the case with crying. There might be a time lag in reporting positive effects from crying.

And what about gender differences? Women cry more often and more intensely than men, although both report equal benefits. Interestingly what researchers have found is that people who suffer from alexithymia—the lack of understanding of emotions—reported fewer episodes of crying and reported less positive mood benefits as a result of crying.

What is missing from these analyses is the fact that crying can be a social behavior. Many of us cry, some privately and infrequently, others more consistently and publicly. In some cultures there are criers who are paid to cry at funerals. There is a social context as well as a psychological one. Crying is also a learned behavior. Men are taught not to cry from an early age, while women elicit support and compassion when they cry. Social crying might be a form of social behavior in order to elicit empathy from others. And the cues of crying are so strong that even dogs express empathy when strangers are crying.

Crying among older adults is complex. There is evidence of benefits but it depends on who you are. If you are a happy person you gain more from crying than if you are a sad person, if you empathize you are more likely to benefit. There is also a positive social component to crying that women might have been exposed to more than men. The benefits of crying might reflect more who you are than what you are emotional about.

Mario Garrett, Ph.D., is a professor of gerontology at San Diego State University and can be reached at mariusgarrett@yahoo.com

Losing Your Memory? Use Your Microwave!

I still have vivid memories of a sunny Sunday morning about 10 years ago when my parents called about some paperwork and I went upstairs to hunt for legal documents. Suddenly the house filled with smoke and I realized I'd left a frying pan of bacon unattended. I rushed downstairs but failed to fully negotiate the turn on a landing and stumbled to the bottom, breaking my foot and ankle in the process. The injuries eventually healed, but to this day, I have recurring nightmares about leaving the stove unattended and burning down the house. As we grow older and our memory begins to fail, whether through normal aging or disease, we start to lose track of common items, like our keys, our coats, and yes, our cooking. That's why it's important that those who know their memories aren't what they used to be, whether through experience or a doctor's diagnosis, need to make lifestyle adjustments. One is to use a microwave instead of the stove or oven whenever possible. That's also advice in today's column by Huffington Post contribute Marie Marley on "25 Tips For Coping with Memory Loss." Cooking with a microwave reduces the risks of fires, but if you do use a stove, do not leave your meal in the making unattended. This means no multitasking! Play close attention to the job at hand and stick with it until the burner is turned off (and not left on low as I've also done a time or two). Other items on Marley's list are also straightforward, like making lists and keeping them in the same place to easy access - same for the keys we always seem to misplace. By routinely leaving items in the same location, they are more apt to be "found" later. Which leads to another useful tip (No. 20 on the list): "Make a general rule not to spend too much time looking for things you've misplaced. They may be in some strange place and will probably turn up later when you're doing something else."